siderealscion:

mALEFISHIENT, MARK

ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.

(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)

(via doncasturbate)

asshole-tier:

truepac:

DO YOU GUYS HAVE THAT ONE FRIEND THAT DOESN’T THINK SHE’S ANYTHING SPECIAL BUT SHE’S BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY AND WITTY AND EVERYTHING AMAZING THAT YOU COULD EVER WANT IN A PERSON BUT SHE DOESN’T SEE IT AND YOU JUST WANNA TAKE HER AND SHAKE HER AND SCREAM IN HER FACE ALL OF THE AMAZING THINGS ABOUT HER JUST SO SHE WILL APPRECIATE HOW ABSOLUTELY LOVELY SHE IS 

 someone could be thinking this about you right now you never know

(Source: hempura, via whatsherfaceisblogging)


“Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits. This is why everyone is struggling.”
—Tina Fey

“Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits. This is why everyone is struggling.”

—Tina Fey

(via surprisebitch)

Things I Say While I'm Driving

Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.

Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.

Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.

Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT

Me: Shit is that a cop? No.

Me: Shit THAT is a cop.

Me: /dinosaur screams/

sproutingflower:

female actors getting pissed off at sexist interview questions is my new favourite thing

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tina and amy’s faces omg

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and cate blanchett calling out the cameraman on the full body pan 

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loveee

(via kitten-left-alone)